this shame you are carrying does not belong to you…

Nigerian society stigmatizes women for many things!

For suffering from an illness, living with a disability, having special needs child, being unmarried or divorced or childless, being a single parent, a widow or a victim of abuse. The list goes on!

They want to see you shrink, and they want you to keep showing up for pity parties.

But you don’t have to.

People can say whatever they want about you.

But, no one can make you accept you are a lesser human being because of these.

No societal stigma can make you live in shame without your consent.

Listen, this magnificently abundant world belongs to ALL of us – them with their perfect lives and us with our “imperfect” lives.

So, take your own space, thrive and live audaciously!

That shame you have been carrying is not yours.

It belongs to the society that has refused to learn that life is not a one-size fit all, and no matter how hard we try and how fervently we pray, life will not happen for all of us in the same way.




Thank you for reading!

I am on Instagram @sholaokubote




Photo by Caique Silva/

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Shola Okubote

My name is Shola Okubote, I am the Founder of You can reach me on Twitter – @sholaokubote, and Instagram – sholaokubote

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