The Deep Questions You Need To Ask Your Mother Before She Is Gone

Growing up, I picked up bits and pieces of my mother’s life from the stories she told here and there, mostly in-between conversations with us or with others. There were some stories she shared quite often, and there were some she only talked about a few times.

Since she died two years ago, I have wondered how much of her life experiences she never talked about. Sometimes I feel like asking her a question but I can’t, she is gone.

Mothers play a major part in our lives every day, but there is a lot about them that we don’t get to see or know.

If your mother is still here, don’t waste another opportunity to ask questions that will make her share more about her life with you. Asking her real questions that will help you have a better idea of who she is beyond being your mother.

This is not just for you, it is also a gift to her. As they grow older and become less busy with work and raising children, many parents spend a lot of time thinking about their lives, having someone to genuinely listen to them as they ruminate their life’s experiences is priceless.


Here are some questions you can ask, you can add or take away as you like, these are just guides.

1.   Tell me one experience that has had the most profound effect on your life?

2. What is one life lesson that took you the longest to learn?

3. What were your dreams for the future when you were younger? How far or close to it are you?

4. What do you think your gift to the world is and have you delivered it?

5. If you have all it takes to start a support group right now, which group of people will it be for and why?

6. What do you want the most right now for yourself?

7. Is there anything that you really want to know about me but have never asked?

8. Is there a pain or trauma from your past that you never truly healed from?

9. If you have the chance to change something from the past what will it be?

10. If you can ask God one question about yourself and get an answer straight from Him, what will it be?

11. Apart from your children, what do you think has been your greatest blessing?

12. What are your greatest fears?

13. What do you want us to always remember you for?

14. What are you most proud of yourself for?



Here are some stories you can ask her to tell ( if you don’t already know)

1. How she met your father and why she chose him

2. Your conception and birth story.

3. A walk through of her journey from childhood till now (schools, work, relationships, etc)


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Thank you for reading. Starting in April 2020, I will be sending emails once or twice a month. They are short, straight-to-the-point, and written as honestly and real as if I am having a conversation with you over a nice cup of coffee – no judgments, no prejudices, just life-giving soul to soul conversations.

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My name is Shola Okubote. To read more about me go to

Want to keep in touch? Connect with me on Instagram @sholaokubote


Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash


About author

Shola Okubote

My name is Shola Okubote, I am the Founder of You can reach me on Twitter – @sholaokubote, and Instagram – sholaokubote

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  1. REPLY

    Abimbola Adebola says

    You are so inspiring

  2. REPLY

    Temitope Adegbesan says

    Just read the 10 deep questions you need to ask your mother before she passes on. The questions has really spiked my interest and I really want to find answers to them from my mother. Thanks for this piece.

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