This Is For The People Who Think They Are Lagging Far Behind In Life

I am not sure why I feel uncomfortable using the term ‘late bloomer’ in the title of this post, but I am struggling to find another word(s) that will fit better. If I find one, I may change the title later.

We are expected to have reached some milestones by certain ages – have a degree, build a career/ start a business, make money, get married, have children, etc. When we hit these milestones at the expected ages, we are called successful, when we hit them later than expected or not even at all, we are called late bloomers or never bloomers. It means they think we have the potential to achieve these things at the “right time” but we didn’t until later.

I have spent most of my life trying so hard to meet these expectations but I have not been successful at all of them. I am now more accepting of the fact that my life is moving and flourishing at its own destined pace.

Here are some short, straight and sweet lessons I have learned along the way!

1.    There are many things in your life that you have absolutely no control over, do your best to work on the things that are within your control and let go of the things you had/have no control over.

2.    It is hard to change what you have not accepted. Acceptance means you understand that your life is what it is at the moment and while you continue to work on changing things, you will not loathe yourself for things you have not achieved.

3.    No matter how fervent you pray or how hard you work, some things will just not happen the way you want or when you want it. Things don’t always work out in our favor and there’s not always a sensible reason for it.

4.    Life is not a one size fit all, it happens for us in different ways and at different times, and sometimes, it has absolutely nothing to do with how smart we are, how good we are or how hard we work.

5.    We are all on different life journeys, and all that we are, all that we are yet to be and all that we will never be, are all part of the journey.

6.    Not every unpleasant experience in life happens for a reason, but every one of your unpleasant experiences can be used for a purpose. No experience is wasted.

7.    The road you never traveled could have lead you to a better place, a worse place or no place at all. If you are wondering if your life could have turned out the way you wanted it if you had done some things differently in the past,  the truth is, you will never know! Forgive yourself if you have to and stop beating yourself up about it.

8.    Self forgiveness is one of the most beautiful gift you can give yourself. List all the poor choices you think you have made, apologise to yourself, forgive yourself.

9.     As long as you are alive and well, you can set another goal and dream another dream, you can press the reset button and start something new or build on what you already have. You have the power to keep reinventing yourself.

10.    Living your authentic life in spite of,  is a foolproof way to get through the ridicule and judgement that comes with missing “milestone” achievements.

11. Life is filled with so many options and alternatives. There is always something else you can do or have in the place of something you don’t have.

12.   You are never stagnant. Results may not have been be fast and glorious, but as long as you have been working hard and putting in efforts, you have been growing, and one day it will count for something.

13. When you have done all you can and you still can’t speed things up, then maybe it’s time to listen to the rhythm of your life and go with it. Know when to surrender to the flow of your life.

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My name is Shola Okubote. To read more about me go to sholaokubote.com/about

Want to keep in touch? Connect with me on Instagram @sholaokubote

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July 23, 2019

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Shola Okubote

My name is Shola Okubote, I am the Founder of Woman.ng You can reach me on shola@woman.ng Twitter – @sholaokubote, and Instagram – sholaokubote

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Comments(7)

  1. REPLY

    Boma says

    Very helpful! Thanks for sharing these lessons. Blessings to you!

  2. REPLY

    Aderonke says

    Thanks for the write up,stay blessed.

  3. REPLY

    StellaNstella Ezimoha says

    Late bloomer or early bloomer to me doesn’t matter,what matters is that you made it alive. Like you rightly said,there are things we don’t have control over. While working hard and waiting for things to fall in place,personal relationship with God is very important.

  4. REPLY

    Chidinma Mbanaso Obi says

    Good article.

  5. REPLY

    David Bukola Deborah says

    I am also a late bloomer

  6. REPLY

    Adjoua A. says

    I love it

  7. REPLY

    Zilla says

    Thanks for sharing this jewel.
    Sometimes I feel like a never bloomer cuz my life has a certain kind of pattern. I don’t know why but it’s just the way it is. Most times I feel I’m never gonna make it, that I’m never gonna do nothing substantial with my life and that thought scares the shit outta me.
    Shit is hard but I always try to keep a positive attitude… Wish I could go further cuz it’s deeper than this comment.

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