To The 20-Something Year Old Who Is Sad Because Things Are Not Working For Her Yet

They said you have been depressed; they think you have given up on life. You told them you don’t think God loves you like He loves others. When people ask you why you are so depressed, you say it is because your friends are moving forward in life but you are still at home after your NYSC, doing nothing.

I told them I will encourage you and tell you not to give up, that good things will come your way too. But, they said they have already told you that and you don’t want to hear it. So I thought, I should tell you something else then, some brutal truths about life that you probably have not been prepared for;

No Matter What You Do, Some People Will Have More Good Things Than You

There will always be people who have more than you do. Some of your friends will be richer than you, some will get better jobs than you, and some will have more opportunities than you. The same way you will have more than some other people. No matter how much time you spend tending to your own grass, some grass will always be greener than yours. The question is, why are you bothered by how green someone else’s grass is? It makes no sense to keep comparing yourself to others. Do your best, chase your own dreams and face your life.


God Loves You, But That Doesn’t Mean You Will Not Experience Delays In Life

Because things are going well for others doesn’t mean they are more loved by God.  Because you are yet to see the answers to your prayers doesn’t mean you have not been given His grace. All that you are and all that you will ever be is because of God’s love and grace, with or without money, job, fame etc. God loves you, but that doesn’t mean you will not experience delays in life. You have got to chose if you will embrace that love unconditionally.


You Will Not Always Have What You Want When You Want It

No, it is not a curse. It is the reality of life. No matter how much you pray or how hard you work, you will not always have everything you want exactly when you want them. Sometimes you will have it when you want it, sometimes you will have it later than you want it.


Ignore Timing and Processes At Your Own Peril

Why is a 20-something who has just finished university/NYSC, and has never worked or started a business, giving up? Except you are born into wealth or want to acquire wealth illegally, you have to work to achieve your dreams. To get the work or start the business, it will take time and effort, and it will still take some time to climb up the ladder of success. It is fantastic to want good things, but to want it NOW without regards for timing and processes is dangerous for your well being. Also, remember the process will be different for everyone.


There is great gain in contentment

Contentment does not mean complacency, it doesn’t mean you don’t want more in life. With contentment you enjoy where you are, on the way to where you are going to. You fully embrace the joys and challenges of this phase of your life. Set goals, put in your best to achieve them, work from the sufficiency of who you are, what you have, and where you are currently. Read my piece on contentment here


It Will Not Be Easy But You Need To Do It

In the time you have been at home after NYSC, what have you done to towards moving forward? What skills have you acquired? How many jobs have you applied for? How devoted have you been to having an excellent CV and interview skills?  How many personal development books have you read? How much of your other skills and talents have you put to use? How many self help tools have you subscribed to? How many great initiatives have you volunteered for?  If starting a business is what interests you, what have you done about it?

No one ever said it will be easy to achieve success in life, but if you really want it, you have to give it all it takes.

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March 9, 2019


About author

Shola Okubote

My name is Shola Okubote, I am the Founder of You can reach me on Twitter – @sholaokubote, and Instagram – sholaokubote

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  1. REPLY


    Thanks for your encouragement.

    • REPLY

      Shola Okubote says

      You are welcome. I am happy you find it encouraging, thank you.

  2. REPLY

    Beembo says

    Thanks,this is so on point.

    • REPLY

      Shola Okubote says

      Thank you!

  3. REPLY

    Sylvia says

    Very inspiring. God bless you

    • REPLY

      Shola Okubote says

      Thank you, God bless you too.

  4. REPLY

    Ife Takuro says

    I love your write up on contentment. It is a really beautiful and liberating piece.

    • REPLY

      Shola Okubote says

      Thank you very much for your warm comment. I am glad you love it!

  5. REPLY

    Chiemelie nmasi chikodili Access says

    Wow… this is particularly for me… I appreciate this write up.. Thanks

    • REPLY

      Shola Okubote says

      Thank you for reading, I am glad you find it very useful. Best wishes!

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