This year I have met many young people who are in financial difficulties; they are working hard and trying their best to get better life opportunities. They are not complacent, they not irresponsible, they are not folding their arms waiting for something to happen, but things just aren’t adding up for them yet. They are so weary and tired of not having enough to meet their needs, and not being able to achieve their bigger dreams.
This can be tough, especially in a society where you are often judged by your material possessions and how much money you have. This pressure can bring with it bitterness, sadness, and even trigger depression for many people.
My post today is for these people.
I am still a long way from where I want to be financially, but I am no longer where I once was, these are some of the lessons I have learnt along the way.
Be Grateful For What You Already Have
Yes, I know this sounds like one of those things people say when they don’t know how to console you, but there is just no other way to say it – there is always something to be grateful for. It will be really hard emotionally to navigate this phase of your life if you don’t actively practice gratitude and make it a lifestyle. There are so many things you already have, there are blessings and miracles in every single day. If you look, you will see.
Forgive Yourself
Make the conscious decision to forgive yourself for your past choices that may have been responsible for this situation. If you think something you did or didn’t do in the past has led you to this financial difficulty then it is time to stop carrying that pain so you can move forward. If it is something you can rectify, then do it, If not, then learn from your mistake and let it help you make better decisions going forward. It will be very hard to move on if you are constantly being weighed down by regrets, blames and pains from the past.
Believe In Abundance
You look around and everyone is getting their dream jobs, booming business and financial increase, and you feel all the goodies are being taken and you are missing out? You have to believe in abundance. You have to know that the blessings of the world have not been depleted, will not be depleted and that no matter how many people are being blessed, you will still get yours.
Focus On What You Can Control
Many things will be totally beyond your control, dwelling on them will make you feel powerless and hopeless. Focus on what is within your power and your resources to change or make happen.
Shun Pity Party
Some people will actually stay with you when you are in need, not necessarily because they care or are interested in you getting out of the mess, but because they need to feed their egos and sense of importance. The more messed up your life is, the better they feel about themselves, and the more they want you to look up to them. Do not let people turn you into their pity party project. When you need help to achieve your goals go to people who can offer practical guidance without unnecessary pity and stigma.
Stay Away From The Pressure
This is not the time to be friends with people who will judge your past, present and future based on things as ephemeral as where you live, what you drive and what you wear. This is not the time to be spending time with people who laugh at others who don’t have as much money as they have. Tune out the noise of the world and work to achieve your own goals on your own terms. Turn a deaf ear to people’s judgement, comparisons, sarcasm and destructive criticism and focus on what you consider to be a success to you per time.
Pursue The Greater Things In Life
Who you really are does not always have something to do with how much money you have, yet we live in a world that judges you based on your material possessions. Don’t cower and hideaway all the other good things about you just because of your financial difficulty. While you work hard at making money, also pursue the greater things in life, use your talents, help other people, be a voice, stand-out for a cause – ultimately these are the things that will really define you, and maybe even open the door of your financial breakthrough.
Don’t Be Defined By This Phase
Don’t define yourself by a temporary problem that will pass. Don’t label yourself a failure in life just because of a setback that can change in an instant. Everyone will experience ups and downs at different points in life, this is one of your own downs, but you don’t have to stay down forever. Don’t shrink away, don’t back down, you are more than this phase of your life. You can still be more, have more and do more.
Let Go Of Things Weighing You Down
I know you are already pushing hard and taking advantage of opportunities, but you need to constantly review what you are putting your efforts into and be sure you are on the right path, and that you are doing the right thing. You will need to let go of mindsets, things, situations and people weighing you down and preventing you from achieving better results.
Do Your Best
Pray, meditate, journal, do yoga, listen to music, have positive affirmations – do whatever helps you find strength from within. You need to have an anchor that keeps you grounded from being washed away by the tides of hopelessness, sadness or depression.
Keep doing your best and praying for the best, but never forget that sometimes ‘how’ and ‘when’ we get the outcomes we desire in life can be totally beyond our control. Life happens for us all at different times and in different ways. Do all you can in total recognition of, and in surrender to God’s ultimate plan.
Photo by Cassandra Hamer on Unsplash
My name is Shola, drawing from my own life experiences I write about emotional wellness, living an authentic life and finding purpose in life’s pain.
To read more about me sholaokubote.com/about
Got a question? Send me an email shola@woman.ng
Want to keep in touch? Connect with me on Instagram @sholaokubote
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December 28, 2018
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Tolulope Babajide says
Dec 29 at 3:59 pmThank you sis for this. 2018 was particularly challenging for me financially but I pulled through by the grace of God only. I find all the points very useful.
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:33 pmIt is so good to read from you, Tolu. Thank you for sharing and for your lovely comment.
Uchenna Onyeoguzoro says
Dec 31 at 5:09 amLovely article. Worth the read!!
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:30 pmThat is a really nice comment, thank you very much.
Anthony says
Jan 01 at 9:58 amReally motivational.
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:29 pmThank you.
Glory Joshua says
Jan 02 at 5:37 amGod bless you ma
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:29 pmAmen, God bless you too.
Jumoke says
Jan 04 at 5:08 amThanks for sharing, I have read it four times and I get fresh message after each reading
esther ugo says
Jan 05 at 6:38 amAn interesting article.a must read for every one.
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:28 pmThank you, I am happy you found it interesting.
Shakira says
Jan 05 at 12:40 pmNice write up. Thumb up sis
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:28 pmThank you for reading and for the encouragement.
OLAJUMOKE says
Jan 05 at 3:21 pmThank you sis for this beautiful piece, it’s a nice starter for the year. ..
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:27 pmI am glad you found it useful, thank you.
Adeola says
Jan 06 at 12:23 pm2018 was financially tough for me n my hubby but we pray for better 2019. Thanks for dose words of encouragement sis.
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:26 pmI wish you and your hubby a super 2019, thank you for reading.
AGORO says
Jan 06 at 8:57 pmELIZABETH DADA
Ajibola A debate Bello says
Jan 07 at 11:10 amI’m inspired! Thank you.
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:25 pmGreat! Thank you for reading.
Sabina says
Jan 07 at 4:28 pmIt’s really easy for me but reading this article will guide me on how to carry on
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:24 pmI am happy to hear that and I wish you all the best.
Adebayo Abimbola says
Jan 08 at 8:31 pmThis write ups really made my day. 2018 was hell for me financially but I av the believe that 2019 will be better for me. Thanks Sola . am happy I av a friend that handles this kind of program. God bless u dear
Shola Okubote says
Jan 09 at 2:22 pmThank you, God bless you too. Cheers to a fantastic 2019!
Chidinma says
Jan 18 at 4:17 pmlove the write up, so encouraging. Nice guildline for 2019
Ada says
Mar 13 at 1:03 pmI’m inspired, God bless you
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