For this post I am going to focus on one of the major depression triggers in Nigeria, which is – difficult life circumstances. If you live in Nigeria, you should not be surprised that many people are at the risk of depression due to continuing life difficulties – unemployment, injustice, insecurity, abuse, poverty, poor support, inability to meet social/cultural/religious expectations etc.
My mother passed on 17 months ago aged 63 years. One day I am going to write about her life and her death, but not today. Today, I write about the overwhelming pain of loss I felt and still feel. Today, I write about this thing called grief.
We all expect to have reached some milestones by certain ages – have educational qualifications, build a career, get married, have children, start a business, own properties, make loads of money, follow passions etc. Like many people, I have spent my twenties and thirties chasing these things. Some I have achieved, others I have not achieved yet.
I told them I will encourage you and tell you not to give up, that good things will come your way too. But, they said they have already told you that and you don’t want to hear it. So I thought, I should tell you something else then, some brutal truths about life that you probably have not been prepared for;
If you are alive, you have a contribution to make to this world; you have a meaningful reason for being here. It is a divine assignment given to you so you can bring some light and healing to the world. It is God’s gift to the world sent through you; your job is to deliver it. Many people are doing all they can to live their best lives but there is still a nagging feeling deep inside, they know there is more to their lives beyond the regular day to day hustle. Your calling is the meaning you are looking for. If you want to have true success in life, fulfilling your calling is a step you have to take.
This year I have met many young people who are in financial difficulties; they are working hard and trying their best to get better life opportunities. They are not complacent, they not irresponsible, they are not folding their arms waiting for something to happen, but things just aren’t adding up for them yet. They are so weary and tired of not having enough to meet their needs, and not being able to achieve their bigger dreams.
No matter how hard I work and pray, there are some things that will never be, or may not be how and when I want them… but I know that peace is always available even in the toughest of times, if I choose to be still, I will find it…
Of the ones who slayed and the ones who got slain, of the ones who walk through life heads up and the ones who crawl with fingers fastened on the patched hard soil, of the ones who started early and bloomed early, and the ones who started early but bloomed late, of the ones living their dreams and the ones who will never get the happiness they truly deserve.
Pain became a part of me. Along with it came a heavy downpour of period blood. Stained cloths, stained seats, stained sheets – I left blood everywhere I went… I knew the fibroids had grown; I would lie on my back and touch one of them bulging right through…